La sexualité de la personne âgée reste marquée par des perceptions et des préjugés négatifs. À partir de la littérature sociologique et psychodynamique sur l’amour, la sexualité et le deuil, nous questionnons le vécu subjectif des personnes âgées, veuves, résidant en EHPAD.

Cette étude qualitative a pour objectif de comprendre le vécu subjectif de l’amour et de la sexualité chez la personne âgée veuve et de repérer les articulations possibles. Cette compréhension peut générer des réflexions sur l’accompagnement spécifique de la personne âgée et du groupe soignant et sur la psychologie riche du sujet vieillissant.

Cette étude repose sur une approche qualitative. Deux entretiens (le premier non directif, le second semi-directif) par résidents présélectionnés selon divers critères ont été réalisés. Ces entretiens ont ensuite été interprétés individuellement puis transversalement.

Nous avons remarqué une réticence des participants quand il s’agissait d’évoquer la sexualité, comme si cela ne les concernait plus, n’était plus de leur âge. Le lien psychique avec l’être aimé et décédé persiste. Les sujets ont pu insister dans leur témoignage sur la notion de confiance, d’engagement à l’autre, sans tomber dans une idéalisation de l’être aimé, tout en soulignant la qualité de ce lien au compagnon de vie.

Cette étude encourage les soignants à ne pas considérer la personne âgée sous l’angle des douleurs somatiques et des déficits sensoriels et à accorder de l’intérêt et de l’importance à sa vie psychique, à ce qui fut et ce qui est. Cette recherche éclaire le devenir des investissements affectifs, amoureux, et les dynamiques conjugales et familiales lors du grand âge et de l’approche de la mort. Nous en arrivons à la conclusion que le vieillissement appelle à la création de nouveaux liens à soi et à l’autre, loin de l’idée d’un rétrécissement de la vie psychique calquée sur les désordres somatiques.

The sexuality of elderly people is often surrounded by negative perceptions and prejudices, even among professionals. For children and friends, it can be associated with lechery and an adolescent crisis. When it involves two adults in a home for the dependent elderly, sexual behavior may be controlled or even restricted. However, sexual desire persists despite aging and associated bodily changes. Based on sociological and psychodynamic literature on love and sexuality, this study explores the subjective experiences of widowed elderly people living in nursing homes. Sociologists stress the high expectations towards the couple and the partner as a means of personal fulfillment for all adults. Sexuality is an essential component of the couple, and disturbances in one's love life can manifest themselves in various ways, reflecting individual approaches to love and sexuality. The renunciation of sexuality often leads to the breakup of the couple, and the romantic bond can weaken if the sexual relationship becomes cold and distant. Psychodynamic readings also focus on the experience of mourning. When a deeply invested partner dies, a balance is broken, requiring a painful adjustment process known as mourning. Many elderly people experience social relegation and severe isolation, which is exacerbated when the spouse dies. Some bereaved individuals may engage in new libidinal bonds, while others avoid such romantic interactions, with the deceased spouse occupying all their psychological sphere. Re-engagement in life and the world through projects and activities can accelerate the mourning process.

This qualitative study aims to understand the subjective experiences of love and sexuality in widowed elderly people and to identify possible connections between these two modalities. This understanding can lead to reflections on the specific support for the elderly, the complex psychology of the aging subject, and potential training needs for caregivers.

This clinical study is based on a qualitative approach. Two interviews, the first non-directive and the second semi-directive, were conducted with nursing home residents. All participants were volunteers selected after a pre-selection based on known data from a residential establishment for dependent elderly people (widowhood, absence of neurodegenerative pathology). They scored above the 5th percentile on the Mini-Mental State Examination (MMSE) of the reference sample (age and sociocultural level), allowing them to understand the various questions of the two interviews. We analyzed both the subjective experiences of the subjects and the way they narrated their stories. Indeed, discourse and discursive strategies bear the trace of psychological functions (such as repression, denial and avoidance).

During our interviews, we observed a slight reluctance on the part of the participants when it came to discussing sexuality. They either did not feel concerned or they felt social pressure and internal constraint to no longer think about it. However, they were able to freely discuss the representation of the couple and share fragments of their past and present lives during our meetings. The psychological bond with the loved and deceased person persists. Subjects emphasized the notion of trust and commitment to the other in their testimonies. They did not fall into idealizing the loved one and highlighted the quality of the bond with their life companion. All four of the participants had each made their lives with their deceased partner and had had children with them.

The results of this study encourage caregivers not to view the elderly solely through the lens of somatic pain and sensory deficits but to pay attention to and value their psychological life, both past and present. Reflecting on one's inner life knows no age restrictions, provided one is ready to listen and offer a space for traversing one's history. This research sheds light on the future of emotional and romantic investments, as well as marital and family dynamics in old age and the approach of death. We conclude that aging calls for the creation of new bonds with oneself and with others, far from the idea of a shrinking psychological life modeled on somatic disorders.